Creating a guest list….
How to create your guest list for your wedding is not as simple as one would think. According to the Hitched National wedding survey a large wedding is a wedding that has over 150 guests. In 2021, the average guest count for weddings was 72 guests.
Deciding who to invite is hard but the first thing you need to consider is what you can afford. How much is your venue? Are you wanting a five course meal or just heavy hors d'oeuvres? What are the venue add -ons? Knowing what you can afford is generally the first step to creating your list.
Start with a master list - this is a literal 'everybody' list. If money wasn't an issue and you could invite everyone you ever wanted there to witness your nuptials - who would you invite? You parents, bffs, immediate family, all your family, distant family, your coworkers, schoolmates, distant relatives and friends, their kids and the whole lot. Here is how to start that list and some tips to narrow it down.
Have an A list and a B list.
A list - people you cannot get married without your parents, your BFFs and immediate family like siblings. People you simply cannot get married without. Take a highlighter to those names to separate them from the others. Knowing that no matter what happens to your list,agree that these names will not change or come off the list. Stay firmly on that. Once you have this list see what your budget can afford after and add other guests using a different highlighter color This is your Group B.
Deciding on a venue and a guest list go hand in hand. How Many folks can your venue hold? Is it in a barn, at the beach, or in a building? Even if you don't have a venue locked down, you know what kind of day you want to have - a vision of your wedding day, so to speak. If you are having an intimate wedding your guest list will likely only include the Group A at max. You may need to shave that down a bit if it is a destination wedding or a wedding with a small space for your event. Try not to feel guilty about the folks you can't invite. Remember you are paying for every chair, table, glass of champagne, piece of cake and dinner plate at this event. Money that you could use to begin your life together. If you do feel guilty and aren't quite sick of planning wedding stuff, you could always plan a less formal wedding after party with those you couldn't invite. A bbq or small group outing to share your big event.
Check with both sets of parents for their input. After all, they are likely paying for some of this event. Check with them for people they feel it is imperative to invite or simply give them a number of spaces to fill with who they like. Ultimately, the decision is yours but it is good to avoid unnecessary friction. And as far as family goes, be fair with family. If you are inviting three out of four cousins, be prepared to explain why the fourth wasn't invited. Likewise, if you invite your great grandma and are giving her a front row seat, make sure you do the same for your partner's grandmother as well. It's a good plan to treat both invited family members the same to avoid hurt feelings. It doesn't always work but most families will understand.
Wedding etiquette dictates that you send invites out 8 to 10 weeks ahead of your wedding. Your RSVPs will start to stagger in and you will likely have some regretful nos. Truth is you shouldn’t be upset, it just means that life somehow got in the way and plans were made ahead of yours. The silver lining is now you can invite some of those people you were unable to invite originally. Check back with your original list and get with your partner on who you both feel you can fill those spots with. Just be sure to send those invites out as soon as you can. No one wants to feel like an afterthought and having your back up list ready for those unable to attend would be your best bet.
Three are some very good tips for invites that you may want to consider when inviting folks and who to invite as well.
First, don't feel obligated to invite other people's children. There are several outlets that can give you wedding invite wording for a no children wedding. Remember that is extra planning and food. And if you need activities that will cost money as well.
Don't feel obligated to allow plus ones. The rule for this is long term relationship with your original invitee.You can plan out your seating chart so that these single invites can sit together with other singles and will have plenty to talk about or plan your seating chart with ways to include these single attendees.
You don't have to include co-workers. If you invite one you will need to invite them all . Remember the gum rule in school? So, unless your bestie is your co-worker as well, don't feel obligated to invite the whole team or even your boss.
Just because you were invited to their wedding doesn't mean you have to invite them to yours. Your relationship may have changed since then. Do not feel obligated. Experts recommend the one year rule - if you aren't as close as you were a year ago, chances are they won't be offended if they are not invited. Think about the current relationship you have with each person and stand your ground.
Keep your guest list private. The less folks know about who is and who isn't invited the less explaining you will need to do. Don't allow others to guilt you into inviting more than you can afford.
Remember in the end this is about your day.
Chart courtesy of Hitched. A great tool to use to keep you focused on your guest list.
Best Kept Secret Venue in Virginia
Best Kept Event Venue in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. You’ll be overwhelmed with all that comes to planning a wedding. Finding a venue, a florist, a photographer, who to invite, what to eat, when to schedule your ceremony, etc. So. Many. Things. It can make you want to elope and leave the world behind. But once you break off a small piece at a time you will realize that things get a little easier. Finding your venue will be the first thing you need to secure after finding the love of your life. And even that journey is daunting. Which one to pick? Is it inside or outside? What month? And what about the weather? Ugh!! If you google wedding venues in the Piedmont of Virginia you will likely find a plethora of venues to choose from. But what you may miss is the best kept event venue in the Valley, Apple Ridge Farm. Nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Copper Hill VA this 96-acre venue has it all. It has a space for indoor and outdoor events. Apple Ridge also boasts a rustic dairy barn for smaller events or dinners. What sets Apple Ridge Farm apart is that it is a non-profit event venue. That means that 100% of the cost for your event venue goes directly to sending underprivileged children in the Roanoke Valley to a 6 week camp each summer. These children enjoy a variety of educational activities over the six week program including ropes courses, zip lines, a climbing and observation tower, and junior size Olympic pool. There is even 4 miles of hiking trails and a dark sky observatory. All these amazing activities are also available for your event. Apple Ridge hosts many family reunions, team building workshops and retreats and is able to offer these additional activities to each group. When choosing a venue to cradle in your memory as the day your new life began we think of our dream setting. That setting has as much to do with what your wedding will look like but most don’t think of how their wedding could impact others. When you book at Apple Ridge Farm your event leaves a legacy with the children in the Roanoke Valley. You can get married with a purpose and help love grow at Apple Ridge Farm.
Now that you have found "The One" a.k.a your lobster, it may seem a little overwhelming figuring out where to begin when planning a wedding. I mean, where will you get married? Photographer? Videographer? Flowers? Food? What time will our ceremony be? Indoors or outdoors? Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter? Dress? Bridesmaids....whoa! So. Many. Things. It can be overwhelming. But if you take it one step at a time it can be magical and eye opening. How? Just by learning about so many businesses in your area, what they offer and even bone up on some wedding practices and lore. But I digress. Finding your venue is your top priority. You will find they book up quite quickly. I imagine when you Goggle venues in Virginia, especially the Piedmont of Virginia, you will be overwhelmed with plethora of options. But what you may miss is an event venue in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Copper Hill VA, just a short ride outside of Roanoke VA. Apple Ridge Farm. Best kept secret venue in Virginia. Apple Ridge Farm is just outside of Floyd, Va and is a hidden gem. For starters, it is situated on 96-acres and is nestled in the mountains of Virginia. It has a rustic renovated dairy barn that boasts a commercial kitchen and is perfect for small gatherings or meals. Like, maybe, a rehearsal dinner. In addition, the Meador building, with its large stone fireplace and wrap-around porch can hold up to 120 folks for an indoor ceremony or dance party. The large timber framed pavilion next door can hold 200 people and even has a stage with perfect lighting to showcase you. With an opportunity to hold your nuptials inside or outside you would think that would be enough to make this venue a contender on your list. But wait there's more. Apple Ridge Farm was originally established in 1978 by Peter Lewis and for 6 weeks out of the year there is a camp for underprivileged kids in the Roanoke valley. That's right, Apple Ridge Farm is a non-profit and 100% of the proceeds from your event go directly to sending these kids to camp each and every summer. Children who would likely not get to experience the joy of learning about our great outdoors, find themselves immersed in nature and learning about the ecosystem. Apple Ridge Farm has a STEM classroom and outdoor activities for all ages. There is a ropes course, climbing tower, Olympic sized pool, zip lines, basketball courts and hiking trails. An observation tower on the edge of the property allows you to see 5 counties from the top! It is also a great place to have pictures taken. One reason I tell you all of these amazing things that we offer at our summer camp is because you can also add these packages to your wedding or event. But more importantly, you can feel good that as you begin your life together at Apple Ridge Farm you also create a legacy for generations to come. You help love grow at Apple Ridge Farm. There aren't many venues that can boast a 100% give back to the community. Just something to think about.